Barrino’s ever evolving story proves that a life interrupted by rape, illiteracy, pregnancy and single parenthood can still be put back on track. A period of struggle does not have to equate to a lifetime of failure. She has proven that a dream deferred is not a dream denied.
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SPARC (Atlanta, GA) and Conchetta House (Olympia, Washington) are working on a project to benefit single parents across the nation. One aspect of the project is to make recommendations for programs and policies that will improve our lives and that of our children. We need your help. There is a growing trend among parenting experts that encourages parents to befriend their children. The benefit of this philosophy is that children will feel that their parents are on their side and will be more likely to respond positively to correction. Traditional parenting methods suggest that parents maintain a more authoritative role in their children’s lives. Is it possible for parents to be their children’s friend? Do they have to sacrifice a certain amount of authority in exchange for friendship? Is that in fact, in their children’s best interest? Can you ride the line of friend and authority figure without sacrificing either? “Back in the day” there was no such thing as “Family Night” because just about every night was family night. Before electricity became the norm, families gathered around the table in the evening by candlelight. After television was invented, families began to gather around the one television set they owned in the evenings to watch shows together. Now that technology has granted us access to just about everything, we now find access to our families to be a challenge. Regardless of the love you and your child have for each other, unless you both develop good communication skills, your relationship will not be as strong as it could be. Dads, you have a great deal of influence over the healthy development of your daughters. You have the power to influence their self esteem, their sense of independence and their healthy body image. With this much influence, what does your daughter need from you to develop to her fullest potential? Of all of the consequences that can be applied when negative behaviors appear, the most important aspect of any plan must use consistency as its foundation. If children are not sure that they will face a consequence for misbehaving, they could be tempted to “roll the dice” and see what happens. It is only when they are sure that the first time and every time they show the behavior that they will face a consequence will your disciplinary plan have any meaning. It is important to remember that positive reinforcement will not eliminate the need for providing consequences for negative behavior. It is to be used as part of an overall comprehensive plan for consistent and effective discipline for the overall health and strength of your family. Every moment between you and your child will not be full of hugs and kisses, especially moments that involve discipline. However, if the relationship between you and your child is intact, you will be able to weather any storm. A popular stance is — either you are a good parent or you are not. You cannot learn to be a good parent. Parents who have taken parenting classes, however would disagree. There is a great deal of value in taking a parenting class, no matter your situation. Let’s be real. Sometimes as single parents, we find ourselves out of time. It also seems like sometimes our children can pick the absolute worst times to talk. As busy, tired, and overwhelmed as we are, it is still important to remember that children, all children, need to know they are listened to. It’s even more important for them to know that we are listening. Hey Dads! Did you know that you are the fastest growing segment of the single parent population? If the stereotype of a man refusing to ask for directions even when he is lost is true, what does a father do when faced with raising a child alone? Guilt becomes a familiar emotion as the school year slides by with well intentioned thoughts but unfulfilled actions of being more involved this year, being more active in education, joining the PTA, joining your child on at least one field trip, volunteering for at least one book fair or bake sale, attending more athletic events, attending open house, parent teacher conferences, school board meetings and the list goes on and on. Where does one find the time to do all of this? With the negative statistics plaguing the “boy” community, society has begun to pay special attention to the unique and complex needs of single mothers raising sons. As attention is focused in this direction, the plight of single fathers raising daughters also needs to be examined. Single fathers raising daughters need special support in order to successfully complete this important task. |
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