With the recent increase in the numbers of children born to single mothers, a great deal of attention has been focused on the single parent family, specifically those headed by single mothers. Some of this attention has not been so nice with some of the outcry suggesting that single mothers should be somewhere cowering in shame. Articles suggest that the social stigma against out of wedlock birth has all but disappeared thereby lessening the shame and contributing to the rise in single motherhood. Here is my question…why shame for a single mother? Should a woman be ashamed of her single parent status?
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A popular stance is — either you are a good parent or you are not. You cannot learn to be a good parent. Parents who have taken parenting classes, however would disagree. There is a great deal of value in taking a parenting class, no matter your situation. Let’s be real. Sometimes as single parents, we find ourselves out of time. It also seems like sometimes our children can pick the absolute worst times to talk. As busy, tired, and overwhelmed as we are, it is still important to remember that children, all children, need to know they are listened to. It’s even more important for them to know that we are listening. Hey Dads! Did you know that you are the fastest growing segment of the single parent population? If the stereotype of a man refusing to ask for directions even when he is lost is true, what does a father do when faced with raising a child alone? Guilt becomes a familiar emotion as the school year slides by with well intentioned thoughts but unfulfilled actions of being more involved this year, being more active in education, joining the PTA, joining your child on at least one field trip, volunteering for at least one book fair or bake sale, attending more athletic events, attending open house, parent teacher conferences, school board meetings and the list goes on and on. Where does one find the time to do all of this? As a single mother of sons, I challenge you to begin to watch television with new eyes. Pay special attention to the way men are portrayed on television these days, especially in sitcoms. You will be surprised…and not pleasantly. With the negative statistics plaguing the “boy” community, society has begun to pay special attention to the unique and complex needs of single mothers raising sons. As attention is focused in this direction, the plight of single fathers raising daughters also needs to be examined. Single fathers raising daughters need special support in order to successfully complete this important task. Obesity tends to be in the eye of the beholder and many parents are reluctant to behold that their children are in fact, overweight. Are you seeing your child clearly? Where the rubber meets the road however, is when your son is reluctant and uninterested in showing any signs of independence. Do you as a single mother have the strength, the courage, the fortitude and the will to PUSH him towards independence? It seems a simple concept but you would be surprised at how many of us do not get it quite right. It has been said that mothers love their sons, but raise their daughters while fathers love their daughters and raise their sons. What of our sons? Statistics seem to say that boys raised by single mothers are destined to fail. If you are a single mother with sons, this is a frightening thought. What can you do, as a single mother to ensure the success of your son(s)? Twelve years of helping single parents secure first time homeownership! The Warrick Dunn Foundation strives to help those who are helping themselves. I learned a long time ago that you cannot be all things to all people. However, each of us can do our part to help in some small way to make our community a better place to live. As a result of growing up in a single-parent household, I have focused my charitable efforts on helping single parent families obtain first-time homeownership. I believe that homeownership is the foundation for establishing a stable and productive family environment, an environment in which children can thrive educationally, socially and economically. (http://www.warrickdunnfoundation.org/home.php) Warrick Dunn is a lot of things to a lot of people. To some, he is the Running Back for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. To others, he is the Founder of the Warrick Dunn Foundation. To still others, he is the oldest of the six children of a single mother who achieved greatness despite the odds. To single parents, he is a champion and keeper of dreams. We will be interviewing Warrick Dunn on the SingleParent411 BlogTalk Radio Show on August 7, 2009 at 11 a.m. EST. Please send us the questions that you would like for us to ask him and we will ask him LIVE on the air. Feel free to tune in, call in or join our chat room which will be open during the show. Post your questions below! It was single parenthood that introduced me to deferred dreams. Putting the needs of my children before my personal amibitions, dreams and goals was the right thing to do and for that I have no regrets. However, as my children transition from dependence to independence, I have time to revisit my personal dreams that have been deferred. I always hear people talking about having it all…the perfect job…perfect family…perfect life, etc. But, what about the rest of us? Some of us don’t WANT to have it all. We’re forced by circumstances and life choices that we’ve made or others have made to DO it all. So we don’t even have the luxury of considering whether or not we want it all. We’ve GOT it all and now we’re trying to figure out what to do with it. That makes the real question – How do you have it all without sacrificing anything? |
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